remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
