So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
