I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
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