..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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