yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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