I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
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