whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
