Define "chronic" masturbator.
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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