i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
