We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
