3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
