I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Randomize
