everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Randomize
