I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize
