We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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