When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
