At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
Your message has been received by an unknown user. Picture verification required.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Randomize
