If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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