Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Randomize
