He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
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