Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Randomize
