I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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