He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
