i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
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