Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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