What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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