Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize
