If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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