so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
