the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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