dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Is that strawberry winking at me??
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
