the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
