The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Randomize
