Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Randomize
