Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
