my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
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