not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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