he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
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