I bet he comes in French.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
