My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
