im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
