Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Randomize
