I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
someone get that fucking seahorse.
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Randomize
