if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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