Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
