Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Randomize
