My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize