Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
