Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
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