There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
