haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
