erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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